The US Legal System Doesn't Care About Us

That is what today has proved.

This week two Transgender People of Color were killed while minding their own business. Each time it was apparent that someone got upset that they were trans and became so angry and emotionally unstable that they attacked and killed the source of their Anger.

Thanks Masculine Hegemony Thanks.

You trained your men that any other "Men" who didn't act like "Men" were no longer "Men" and thus "Expendable."

You trained killers.

Every Trans woman's death and blood, in my eyes, are on the hands of the government who continue to refuse to develop protections for Trans* people.

To make matters worse. The US Justice System has just strong armed Cece, A Trans woman who defended herself with returned violence, into pleading guilty for 2nd Degree Manslaughter. She and her friends were out on their own enjoying their night when they were accosted by a Cis Gender White Male and his friends. When this man started to physically harass Cece and her friends, In the midst of this scuffle that happened a White Cis Gender Woman broke a glass against Cece's face scarring her for life.

Cece did what ANYONE would do when her and her friends well being was in trouble. And defended herself.

When you as a minority of the population are trained that the police wont help you, you try harder to protect yourself when you know help wont be coming.

Cece killed the man who attacked her and her friends. She waited for the police and was arrested for murder.

Cece Was Innocent. She committed Self Defense. Which is not a punishable offense.

Had this gone to trial the jury would have found her innocent of all charges. The problem is the state doesn't like it when it goes to trial. They tend to lose way too often. (See: Casey Anthony). So they strong arm and convince defendants to reach a plea agreement. They knew they wouldn't win against a jury so they convinced Cece that if it went to trial she might lose, if she loses they'll put her away for life or longer. To get out of it all she has to do is say she did SOMETHING wrong and they'll drop the higher charge.

When faced with that information a majority of people would take the deal.

But what this really says is that the US Legal System doesn't care about us.

Those of you who are Trans* and Gender-Non Conforming like me. Learn this lesson.

The Police, US DA's, The Government. They DO NOT CARE about us. They could care less if we all got killed. They WANT US in their jails. They WANT to have us stuck in General Population with people of the sex we do not identify with. They want us raped, they want us Docile, they want us gone.

We are a BLIGHT to them. We will never be anything more then an Inconvenience.

The only way to fix this is to get rid of the Hegemony Trained Men who run this government.

This has nothing to do with Feminism, it has everything to do with survival. VOTE.

If you don't vote you are just hurting yourself. If you have to go and ask every candidate who is running for office over you. Ask them! "Will you protect me from those who hate me." If they say no. If they say you have no right to equal protections under the law. If they say it is not a hate crime to kill a trans* person. Then vote against them. If none of your candidates care about you, then Run yourself!

We have to get these people who do not care about us OUT OF POWER. And Elect people who will protect us.

That is the only way we'll ever be safe.

So, When are you going to start dressing like a girl?

Dear mother of god, I hate this phrase.
Doesn't help that now even my mother says it.

I feel like a girl, I've got hormones like a girl, I identify and socialize as a girl. Why does what I wear matter?


(Flashback)

So on Wednesday, I received a letter from my Endocrinologist. The contents of the letter are an attempt to help me get my gender marker changed.

"To whom it may concern.
We've been treating (Legal Name) for Gender Identity Disorder with Hormone Therapy. She should be considered from here on out, Biochemically Female."

Yeah, it is a stretch, that biochemically word. But hopefully the people it matters to have a letter from a doctor will accept it.

I no longer function as male, and I get gendered as female 90% of the time. Even by the people who've known me as female.

I came home and shared this letter with my mother. She just frowned and looked up at me with doe eyes. "So when are you going to start dressing like a girl?"

I just stared at her. At the time I was wearing Pajama Pants and a three sizes too big T-shirt.

My prefered attire is womens jeans and a decent printed T, with a buttonup worn unbuttoned overtop. I have no qualms about it. I'm a DYKE. I always will be. My goal was never to be super femme like a Drag queen, or even subtlefemme like some of my other transisters.

I'll never get rid of my desires for video games, guns, heavy metal, comics, and other geeky computer stuff. I'll also never find a love of flimsy sun dresses. I just do not look good in a dress. I accepted that a long time ago.

But for some people when you are trans and say "I'm a woman" they judge you harsher then they would a Assigned Female at Birth woman.

Most of the time people ignore if a woman is more butch or femme in their attire and appearance if they are cisgender and attractive.

But a slightly unattractive transwoman. If you are not trying to be Femme they try and negate your experiences of being transgender, of feeling like a woman.

Grrr I wont be wearing dressing soon Mom.

My Vagrant Heart... My Vagrant Story

My heart is a Vagrant it seems.

I have a lot of trouble keeping it in one place. I have even more trouble keeping it from latching on to others.
I love everyone. I'll say it that way I guess. It is hard for me not too. I see way too much beauty in the world to bother with thinking people I've never met are worthless. It takes a lot of heartache on my side to get emotionally detached from someone, and usually deals with them hurting me in some way.

I think that is why its so easy for me to fall in love, and so hard for me to stay. I'll probably never find someone my heart could stay with for a long amount of time. Though I keep looking, because that is what I want.

I want someone to love, someone to care for, someone to grow old with and die happy with. I want to cry with them, laugh, smile, cuddle, love with them. I guess everything any normal human would want. But I still have trouble. I'm shy, I'm too afraid I scare people, that they'll only see me at my genitals and not for who I am inside. They'll see the hormone ravaged sack of flesh that is my body and disapprove.

But back to my heart and its vagrancy. It seems like every week it finds someone new to pine after, someone new that sparks it to life and makes it beat with a renewed vigor. And every time it simply ends up disappointed, the other being already in a relationship, enjoying being single, only looking for sex, or some other speil that would prevent me from getting the things I need out of any type of relationship.

I'm also having people who I used to love try and regain a bit of a place in my life and I appreciate most of them, though others I'd rather not talk to. My heart craves the touch of those few friends I've really missed the last 7 to 10 years too.

I guess I'll end on this.
Love You.

Moving Right Along

Wednesday, I had my second endocrinologist appointment down in gainesville. I had started seeing her a month ago when I was at 8 Months of Self Medicating. I'm now at rolling up on 10 months. She Informed me that all my bloodwork came back clean and that everything about it was in positive good ranges and levels. But my sex hormone panels had not been returned yet.

I had to wait a few days for them to come in they said, Well they came in today, less then 24 hours after my appointment. My Endo called and informed me that I have been found to have Normal Female Ranges for my hormone Panel. And was given the go ahead to continue treatment as she prescribed.

I was also given another bit of good news. She will happily write and sign a letter stating that I was her patient, and that after treatment and study I should be considered legally Female.

This is such great news. It means that I will be able to get my gender marker change, as well as my name change. With those done, I can start calming down and living my life like a normal human being again.

I am so excited.

Congrats Mass. Boo Anchorage.

The state of Massachusetts signed a Transgender Equal Rights Law into effect today. I am so proud of my sisters and brothers up north getting this awesome piece of legislation signed. A lot of other states may soon follow.

http://boston.com/community/blogs/on_liberty/2012/01/celebrating_fair_play_and_equa.html?rss_id=Most+Popular


Sadly those of you in Anchorage will not be getting equal rights, as the equality and discrimination bill that was up for vote there was shot down. I blame the TV ads that depicted a trans woman as a big burly man with a full beard wearing a dress. I feel sorry for you guys, but I wish you luck in the future.