So, When are you going to start dressing like a girl?

Dear mother of god, I hate this phrase.
Doesn't help that now even my mother says it.

I feel like a girl, I've got hormones like a girl, I identify and socialize as a girl. Why does what I wear matter?


(Flashback)

So on Wednesday, I received a letter from my Endocrinologist. The contents of the letter are an attempt to help me get my gender marker changed.

"To whom it may concern.
We've been treating (Legal Name) for Gender Identity Disorder with Hormone Therapy. She should be considered from here on out, Biochemically Female."

Yeah, it is a stretch, that biochemically word. But hopefully the people it matters to have a letter from a doctor will accept it.

I no longer function as male, and I get gendered as female 90% of the time. Even by the people who've known me as female.

I came home and shared this letter with my mother. She just frowned and looked up at me with doe eyes. "So when are you going to start dressing like a girl?"

I just stared at her. At the time I was wearing Pajama Pants and a three sizes too big T-shirt.

My prefered attire is womens jeans and a decent printed T, with a buttonup worn unbuttoned overtop. I have no qualms about it. I'm a DYKE. I always will be. My goal was never to be super femme like a Drag queen, or even subtlefemme like some of my other transisters.

I'll never get rid of my desires for video games, guns, heavy metal, comics, and other geeky computer stuff. I'll also never find a love of flimsy sun dresses. I just do not look good in a dress. I accepted that a long time ago.

But for some people when you are trans and say "I'm a woman" they judge you harsher then they would a Assigned Female at Birth woman.

Most of the time people ignore if a woman is more butch or femme in their attire and appearance if they are cisgender and attractive.

But a slightly unattractive transwoman. If you are not trying to be Femme they try and negate your experiences of being transgender, of feeling like a woman.

Grrr I wont be wearing dressing soon Mom.