My heart is a Vagrant it seems.
I have a lot of trouble keeping it in one place. I have even more trouble keeping it from latching on to others.
I love everyone. I'll say it that way I guess. It is hard for me not too. I see way too much beauty in the world to bother with thinking people I've never met are worthless. It takes a lot of heartache on my side to get emotionally detached from someone, and usually deals with them hurting me in some way.
I think that is why its so easy for me to fall in love, and so hard for me to stay. I'll probably never find someone my heart could stay with for a long amount of time. Though I keep looking, because that is what I want.
I want someone to love, someone to care for, someone to grow old with and die happy with. I want to cry with them, laugh, smile, cuddle, love with them. I guess everything any normal human would want. But I still have trouble. I'm shy, I'm too afraid I scare people, that they'll only see me at my genitals and not for who I am inside. They'll see the hormone ravaged sack of flesh that is my body and disapprove.
But back to my heart and its vagrancy. It seems like every week it finds someone new to pine after, someone new that sparks it to life and makes it beat with a renewed vigor. And every time it simply ends up disappointed, the other being already in a relationship, enjoying being single, only looking for sex, or some other speil that would prevent me from getting the things I need out of any type of relationship.
I'm also having people who I used to love try and regain a bit of a place in my life and I appreciate most of them, though others I'd rather not talk to. My heart craves the touch of those few friends I've really missed the last 7 to 10 years too.
I guess I'll end on this.
Love You.
No comments:
Post a Comment