The prevalence of "I never would have guessed"

I wont lie, I used to have privileges. Male, White, Cis, Christian, Normal. Etc. Those were the Privileges I enjoyed. They got me into a lot of awesome situations in the past. They were never worth the cost.

I started transitioning about a year ago, On my birthday. When I decided I was going to transition I felt like for the first time in a long time, I was finally doing something 100% for myself. And I was Sacrificing a lot of my Privileges.

Male - Out the window instantly. I'm no longer male so people wont respect me like they would a male. I'm not really deemed completely female either so I don't get any of the minor privileges afforded to the fairer sex. People wont stop and hold doors open for me. And, to be honest, That is OK. The majority of my friends are female so I feel a need to maintain that small bit of my old self. I'll hold the door, not an issue.

White - For some reason a lot of people instantly disregard you as other, even if your skin is the same color, when you tell them you "Used to be a guy." In the levels of respect that people get just by being themselves White Trans women are near the bottom, and people even further segregate Trans women of Color below that. This kind of pisses me off. I love all my Transistors equally and I feel just as much heartache at the violence against Trans women of Color as I do White Trans women.


Cis - I said I was trans right? A feeling I had for a long time. But the truth is until you act on your condition to help resolve it you are stealth as Cis. Transition is like the Uncanny Valley Effect going in reverse. Very rarely can you overcome the valley though.

Christian - I've been having Christians use the bible to say I'm a sinner and going to hell. Seems like they don't know the bible.


Normal - HA!


But then, something happened.

Lately, people seem to be blindly ignoring me. I'm not stared at when I'm out in public. I'm a little loud and out, a little bit proud as well. But it isn't until I mention something that could possibly out me to a new person that they stop, quirk their head and go.

"What?" Then when I or a friend explains their eyes go wider and they say those magic words. "I never would have guessed."

Tuesday I had 5 different people tell me that. And each time I enjoyed it.

Like I've said in the past. I'm never planning to go stealth. I feel like having people who are proud and open about who they are is a positive thing to the world, and to the transgender community.

Without people being open about it we'd never get any where when it comes to our own rights.

But now It seems like I'm slowly sliding into stealth which is why I constantly out myself.

To be clear, there are lots of ways we can look at human / sex gender, and there are lots of variations to occur. Nothing is any less real about people when their parts don't match, rather it be their DNA or their genitalia. These people may not be the majority, but they are no less real. And due to these variations there have been many attempts to define human sex. One attempt has been to look at DNA, the XX/XY genes which many people are familiar with. This is the XX/XY sex-determination system, but it isn't actually used and here is why:

If you were to take a DNA swab of any woman, what sex would the DNA results tell you? And after that, what relevance does it have to her being a woman, to her sex/gender? It is a false conclusion that DNA is relevant to the relationship, sexual attraction, or the determination of gender/sex. There are all sorts of genetic variations in women. Geneticists don't use chromosomes to determine sex/gender in people. It isn't known to be an accurate indicator. Genes are just a map, or a plan even. It doesn't mean that the plan is followed.

Phenotype is a far more determining factor of sex/gender than DNA (edit: or any other single factor) ever will or could be.

We don't karyotype people with our eyes or beliefs, contrary to some claims. What relevance does someone's DNA have on their sex/gender/appearance/etc? Everything you see and interact with about a person can be completely opposite of what their genes tell you should be reality. For the majority, their chromosomes may be in line with what you see. But that doesn't prove anything about the relationship between DNA and sex/gender. There are plenty of women, trans and otherwise, that do not match. (Men too for that matter.) There is such thing as an XY woman.

Also sex/gender is far more than just chromosomes. Neurology plays an extremely important part, and that is the part that does not match in trans people. Neurology is going to form the foundation of your identity/gender. And neurology is the component of trans women that does not match (possibly) their DNA. In real life, when people do gender tests, it takes a wide range of doctors/specialists to make the determination. And it should be noted that the medical community accepts the validity of transsexuals as women.

Gender verification tests typically involve evaluation by gynecologists, endocrinologists, psychologists, and internal medicine specialists. As you can see, there is far more to gender/sex than genes. Making that determination isn't the job of geneticists either. Not to mention, it can be incredibly inaccurate even still.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_verification_in_sports
Gender verification tests are difficult, expensive, and potentially inaccurate. Furthermore, these tests fail to exclude all potential impostors (eg, some 46,XX males), are discriminatory against women with disorders of sexual development, and may have shattering consequences for athletes who 'fail' a test.

DNA is an irrelevant piece of the gender/sex puzzle when it comes to sexual attraction as well (or any human interaction.) As I already pointed out, what people are attracted to (and what they interact with) is the person's phenotype -- "the composite of an organism's observable characteristics or traits: such as its morphology, development, biochemical or physiological properties, phenology, behavior, and products of behavior..." And that can obviously be changed in the case of a congenital neurological intersex condition, like transsexuality.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenotype Biological determinism (basically the idea that you are what your DNA says) is not an accurate view of humanity. In fact "Biologists sometimes regard a charge of biological determinism as a straw man, as there is currently no support for strict biological determinism in the field of genetics or development, and virtually no support among geneticists for the strong thesis of biological determinism. "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_determinism

So to conclude, "If I were to take a DNA swab of a transgender woman, what sex would the DNA results tell me she was? " It wouldn't. It tells you absolutely nothing. Edit: Phenotype is what is used in the determination of sex in human beings, and that includes everything from genitalia to endocrine system -- and even neurology. We're all real.

Here is more information for those that like to learn:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_transsexualism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexualism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexualism#Causes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_transsexualism#Brain_structure

Genitalia is not the single factor used to determine sex either: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_verification_in_sports http://www.isna.org/faq/

Total number of people whose bodies differ from standard male or female one in 100 births http://www.isna.org/faq/frequency There are all sorts of variations in humanity. We're all real.

Dear First Coast Tea Party

This is a post I made as a blog post to the First Coast Tea Party website. It will most likely not be Approved to be published but I figured I'd post it anyway.






Hello FCTP.



I haven't visited this site in a while, simply because I have felt lately I didn't belong anymore. Not only that, but I felt like I would be ridiculed for who I am if I arrived at an event. I also felt like being public would be embarrassed to my family members, some of which are, or were, members of the First Coast Tea Party. My father specifically.



But 5 days ago I got two correspondences from Leanna King over the issue of Jacksonville 2012-296. Specifically she was being supportive of Republican Rick Hartley in Opposing this change in our Jacksonville Laws (specifically the "Gender Identity and Expression.)



In this newsletter from Leanna, it states that adding "Gender Identity and Expression." to the Discrimination bill would allow for people to use it as an excuse for Sexual Misconduct, especially in the workplace. As an excuse for Sexual Harassment.




I Humbly Disagree.



Gender Identity is the internal identification of what your Gender Is. For the majority of people, they feel like the gender assigned them by the Sexual Characteristics identified on them by Doctors. These people can easily go through life without ever questioning "Am I a Man, My Penis Makes me one?" Or "Am I A woman simply because I was born with a Vagina?"



People who are comfortable with their Gender Identity and Sexual Configuration, can live their entire lives comfortably. They can wear the clothing that society decides is appropriate for them. Act the way society expects them to, and no one will ever harass them for being themselves.



There how ever is a very small population of people who grow up feeling extremely UNCOMFORTABLE with their Genital Configuration. Their Gender Identity Conflicts with their Sex that they were assigned at birth. They feel Alien in their own bodies, and in some cases, where they can't get help because of societal restrictions or the fear of discrimination, they simply commit suicide instead of living constantly feeling wrong.



The Majority of people who are Comfortable with their Assigned Genders will never feel that type of pain. But those who are not comfortable with their assigned gender feel that pain all day, all night, it invades their dreams, it invades every waking part of their being. Their mind screams "I'm a Freak" simply because in the minds Eye they see themselves opposite of what their doctor assigned them when they were born.



This discomfort, called Dysphoria or Gender Dysphoria, thus becomes the cause of secondary symptoms like Depression, Self-Harm, and eventually Suicide. 41% of respondents to a recent poll of those diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria have admitted seriously contemplating, or actually attempting Suicide.



41%. Almost Half. While the Percentage of those not afflicted with this Dysphoria is only just a little under 2%



For many of these people they find themselves with a choice, the only choice they can make. Suicide. The easy way out of a life of pain, confusion, self hatred, anger, and in some cases physical pain manifested from their depression. Or Transition.



Transition is the act of taking hormones, modifying your appearance, and in some cases, surgical reconfiguration of ones Genitalia. Not all people who Transition go as far as Genital Reconfiguration Surgery. But a vast majority of Trans*, Transsexual and Transgender people do.



Hormones can do a lot to help a person feel normal on their own. Recently a Neuroscience team discovered that the average Transwoman's (Someone who was born male and transitions to female) Brain actually had the shape and configuration of a Woman who was assigned Female at birth. So when a Transwoman actually starts Hormone Replacement therapy their brain beings to feel normal. For most their depression quickly disappears, their self hatred, and their self-harm stop, and the cases of them committing suicide drop significantly.



They feel normal once again, they feel happy. They feel like themselves. Until they are hit with harassment or discrimination. For being just that, themselves.



A Transwoman is not going to want to continue to wear tailored business suits to work, She may prefer to wear a Tailored Skirt Suit to work. It feels comfortable for her to do so. She may prefer to wear a dress at night when she goes out with her friends. She may even want to have a relationship with someone.



Or a Transman (someone transitioning from Female to Male) may want to wear that tailored Business suit. Or maybe even not work in a office at all and get a job in something like Construction, the Police, or even the Military.



But here in Jacksonville these people are not protected. They are told that they do not belong. They are told that they are ugly, gross, that they are dirt. And in some areas, this discrimination even leads to Murder. This discrimination brings back those feelings of self hate, and of suicide, to those who are Transgender.



This issue is close to me, because a year ago around this time, I could no longer handle how I felt. I couldn't handle the constant thoughts, desires, and hobbies I found entertaining that didn't reflect that I was male. I was tired of the people I had relationships with telling me I was too feminine for them when I had been born male. I was Tired of being called "Sir" or "He". When inside I just didn't feel it.



Around this time last year, I laid down in my bed, put a rifle in my mouth, and was about to pull the trigger when I was interrupted. That interruption snapped me out of the depression for a bit, but I found help before it came back for good and on my birthday last year, I turned 25, and I started transitioning.



I am Transgender. This wasn't a choice I made, I didn't make a choice to feel like a Woman in my head. It was a nagging buzz in the back of my head. Strange thoughts and actions that I just did on my own, but when found doing them I was punished for it and told it was for girls. Nothing I ever did to act out on my Gender Non-Conformity had to deal with Sexual Intercourse. It had nothing to do with my Sexual Orientation either, I Identify as Asexual (Lacking any desire to engage in sexual conduct or intercourse with anyone.), thought that isn't to say I do not want a relationship with someone. I just don't need anything more then the romance and companionship. Intercourse itself is Gross.



My Gender Expression, and my transition from Male to Female, had nothing to do with anyone else. It had nothing to do with how I was raised, it had nothing to do with my parents, or my interests in what I wanted to do for my job. It was completely about feeling comfortable in my own skin.



This month I will turn 26, It is also my first year anniversary of being on Hormone Replacement Therapy and I have a consultation for my Surgery next week. I am gendered 90% of the time now as Female. And every time someone simply acknowledges me as "Ma'am" "Miss" or "Her" I smile. Because now other people see me how I always felt about myself.



I'm Lucky though, The company I work for has been extremely supportive of me. Others have not been so lucky. Here in Jacksonville, most companies would just Fire someone for being Trans. And that was a fear I had when I first came out to my HR Rep and supervisor. It was a huge fear that me becoming true to myself would end my career.



I was lucky, not everyone was.



Before you stand outside city hall, yelling and screaming that you don't think people like me need protections, think.



What right was given to you to tell me I couldn't wear a skirt, if I wanted to, to work? What right was given to you to tell me I had to hide my breasts with a binder so that they didn't protrude from my chest? What right was given to you to tell any Trans person that they are wrong about their gender identity?



2012-296 doesn't give me any rights. It doesn't say I can walk up to someone and expose my genitalia at them. It doesn't say I can walk around with minimal clothing on. It doesn't say I can sexually harass someone else. It gives me NO rights.



296 does one thing, It makes sure people don't impede the few rights I do have.



Life, Liberty, The Pursuit of Happiness. It doesn't let me interfere with your rights.



My Gender Identity is mine, Not yours. I choose to express it by painting my fingernails, having my hair styled, and Wearing a nice outfit. These things do not sexually assault or harass you. These things do not interfere with your rights. The things I do to feel comfortable with my outside appearance do nothing to harm you.



You can choose to express yours how ever you want. I'm not going to interfere with that. And that is all I ask of you, to not interfere with mine.



Treat me how you want to be treated.